i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
