I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize