if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i dont even know how to be here
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
