sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
