have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize