...so i touched it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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