I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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