"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm both gender and math confused
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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