so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
