I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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