I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I understand Curling. That high.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
