Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
