4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
are you still at the devil's house?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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