No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
