We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
