oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
