Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
