Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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