sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
