Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
