im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
