batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
