But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
