Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
