absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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