Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
did i walk over a car last night?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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