Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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