The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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