i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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