its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
