Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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