Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
