You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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