508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize