she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
