How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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