this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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