I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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