i just wanna soil my oats bro
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
