He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
being pregnant is like rehab
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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