I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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