I'm really into asian looking animals
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
