i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
