I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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