5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
