genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
