Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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