Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
