i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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