If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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