GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
