just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Screwed.edu
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
