hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Someone signed my nipple.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
