I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
