I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize