Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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