She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
