she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
