I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
