lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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