Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
