I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
you are never too drunk for berry picking
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
